How We Can Help

Childhood sexual abuse can remain hidden for years, even to survivors. The brain might bury the memories of abuse as a way of self-protection. Typically, present-day symptoms begin to surface or worsen and draw survivors’ attention. Because sexual abuse happened decades ago for many adult survivors, there is often a disconnect between the symptoms they are experiencing today and the abuse they experienced during childhood. 

“I wasn’t at that point connecting the dots. I could feel something was wrong and hoping that I didn’t have to continue to live like I was, but not understanding what I needed to do. I was struggling deeply and looking for outside outlets to cover my pain and cope with what was going on.”

– Wings Group Member, Survivor

If you are an adult survivor, what happened to you was not your fault. Your needs matter, and you deserve the information and support you need to heal. Although the trauma of abuse is likely impacting your life today, it doesn’t have to impact you forever. It’s never too late to heal. Wings is here to walk alongside you throughout your healing journey. This is the important first stage of recovery: accepting that what you experienced was childhood sexual abuse and deciding to step toward your healing. 

Recognizing that an experience in childhood was abusive can be overwhelming at first. Talking about what happened may feel impossible. If you are a survivor, you may have been told to stay silent or even threatened not to tell. Some survivors live with secrets for years. Giving words to what occurred and honoring your own truth is a vital step in being able to find supportive services and connecting with other adult survivors. 

“I realized that I’m not alone. Even though what happened is unthinkable, it doesn’t have to be unspeakable. Maybe there was hope for me, and maybe I might be able to recover too. That was a really cool moment to realize that recovery might be a possibility.”

– Wings Group Member, Survivor

Speaking about what happened to you is always your choice. You get to choose who you tell and when, and it starts with one trusted person. Wings can help connect you to qualified health professionals when you are ready to take this important step. 

Healing provides the opportunity for adult survivors to integrate experiences of abuse from childhood into their sense of self today. This includes  accepting that what happened was abuse and was not your fault. You’ll learn to recognize the ways trauma from abuse impacts your life today and practice strategies to manage and transform trauma responses. Developing honest, trusting relationships and setting healthy boundaries is also a part of healing. 

“I would describe healing from childhood sexual abuse as every day becoming more of who I would have been had it not happened, who I was meant to become. Releasing things put on me that were not mine to carry. Restoring my dignity and integrity, my own sense of worth within me.”

– Wings Group Member, Survivor

You may choose a variety of services that help you connect to yourself and others in healthy ways. This may include peer Support Groups like we offer at Wings. Some adult survivors look to creative activities like art or dance to express their feelings. Some try somatic (body) work, like yoga, acupuncture or massage, which can also be a part of healing. Some work with indigenous healers or faith leaders in their healing journeys. Wings can help you explore your options and connect you to qualified providers regardless of the path you choose.

If you are an adult survivor, your experience of sexual abuse will always be a part of your story, yet it does not need to rule your life. You can learn to be guided by your actual interests and passions, rather than driven by fears or coping strategies. You can live the truth of your experience and cultivate joy, peace and fulfillment in your life, relationships, vocation, and hobbies. 

“Every day I move forward on that journey of understanding that I’m not defective and I matter. I have worth and I have value just for being. I had worth and I had value as a little boy. That is my work now: to learn to love myself and learn who I am, what I like, what I enjoy.”

– Wings Group Member, Survivor

Staying committed to the healing journey also means celebrating your own strength and resilience to transcend trauma and live your life on your own terms. Thriving might include finding ways to share what you’ve learned through this experience with others, whether supporting survivors earlier in their healing journeys, taking action to prevent sexual abuse, or sharing your voice to provide hope. There are no “shoulds” at any point in the healing and thriving journey. You get to choose how you move forward in the world and how you create a life you love.