How can I support adult survivors as a loved one?

We’re so glad you want to support an adult survivor in your life. Childhood sexual abuse happens to children within an unsafe and nonconsensual relationship, and healing requires safe, healthy and supportive relationships.  Loved ones may include partners, spouses, siblings, parents, adult children, and close friends.   

It may be difficult to hear that someone you care about has experienced childhood sexual abuse. This may be especially true if the person who abused them is also someone you love and care about. Accepting that the abuse happened means bringing accountability where none has been before. 

Your love and support makes a huge difference. Without supportive loved ones, adult survivors are left to face the daunting task of healing from this trauma without those closest to them. Start by believing them and supporting them to make choices about how they move forward in their healing process. 

Being a loved one can feel lonely and frustrating at times. Anyone living in relationship with an adult survivor is also living with the long-term effects of sexual abuse. You may not know who to talk to, what it looks like to support the survivor in your life, or where to find resources for yourself. Wings is here for you, too. 

Wings provides information and tools to help you turn towards this issue with love and compassion. We give referrals to loved ones seeking supportive services like individual therapy and offer weekly support groups for loved ones facilitated by therapists. Some of the topics discussed in group are the impacts of trauma, stages of healing, communication, intimacy, and taking care of yourself. 

Watch: Champions of Healing™ For Loved Ones

Sadly when it comes to childhood sexual abuse, the person who has caused harm very rarely accepts responsibility for it. Too often, they deny the abuse and may even work to discredit the person they have harmed, who is in need of healing. Loved ones, friends and our wider culture too often replicate that harmful dynamic. In this video, we educate about these negative responses to survivors, so we can prompt loved ones to make a different choice. This is covered in more detail in the Champions of Healing™ For Allies series.

This course is designed to help loved ones, friends, and professionals understand CSA, its impacts on adult survivors, and how to respond with care and compassion. Our goal is to increase understanding and support for adult survivors while reducing instances where allies may turn away.